Sinful Sunday – bokeh

Sinful Sunday

Yes, I know its pushing it to the wire, but we were hunting for ideas and opportunities to take them and coming up blank. Then this happened, and we were chilling in the bath, waiting for the Christmas cake to finish doing, and @NotMuchofaMuse grabbed the phone and told me to concentrate on relaxing. I’m very good at that sort of photography…

Inspirational Images


I stumbled over a rather fucking awesome image by an amazing concept artist and graphic designer called Yoshi Yoshitani (that’s it there as the top image) – their twitter is here, and their site is here. You should definitely check them both out. Helena and I fucking loved all of the images, but especially the one above. They’re filled with gender ambiguity, fuckery, queerness and beauty.

We both had exactly the same response – we need to do that. Now, Well ‘now’ was 3pm at work, so it had to wait for the next Friday night. These aren’t of nearly the same artistic quality as Yoshi’s stuff, but it was a really interesting esperience seeing how we each felt in each role; understanding what the picture said to us; what head space it put us in; what the character’s motivations, needs and wants were.

Is The Fox in a realtionship with The Hare? Is that a touch of devotion in their hand, or a more casual inspection? Is The Hare feeling nervous anticipation of what’s to come, or basking in The Fox’s love? I have my answers, and Helena has her’s and you probably have different ones again, because part of the beauty of art is filling in the gaps and ambiguities with your own experiences and desires. It is an outrageously powerful image for one that is, at first glance, so simple.

And so, in a poor quote from Yoshi’s image, we recreated it. Twice.


I see love and support in Helena’s position, I think. I see nervous anticipation and a desire to please in mine.


Here, I think I have a much more critical attitude. A harder inspection and more challenge. It might be in response to Helena’s less-submissive submissiveness. It’s really hard to capture her wonderful brattishness in a single photo, with a mask on …

We decided that we liked these so much that we’re putting them on Sinful Sunday this week.



Kink of the Week – Men in Panties


I got up at the first buzz of the alarm this morning, rather than snoozing 4, or 5, or 6 times. You’ve done this for me more times than I can remember, and I’ve loved it, every single fucking time, but it’s never felt like a thing I could do for you. My body – men’s bodies – just aren’t made for this kind of sexy play. It feels different today. I can do this for you, and I know you’re going to love it, and I feel a new confidence in myself.

My body is sexy, not because of its youth, or its finely chiselled contours (because it has neither), but because I love you with it, with every inch of it, and you love it. That is the only acceptance I need. The same patriarchy that tells you that you’re not good enough also tells me that I can’t look at myself that way at all. Fuck. That. Shit. Continue reading Kink of the Week – Men in Panties

Sticking a toe out of the closet

I take a significant amount of pride in being a robust, well balanced individual with a broadly trustworthy moral compass and little fear of consequences because of all of the above. I’m out as queer to my partner and a circle of friends (and you lot, obvs.). I’m not out at work, although I’m a reasonably prominent ally.

Today I outed myself to a colleague. She is absolutely the safest person in the building to out myself to – she’s prominent in the Pride network of her company. Here’s the thing though.

I didn’t intend to do that.

I mean, it wasn’t an inadvertent disclosure. We were talking about the Pride network and allies, and I thought clearly for about a quarter second before before I said,

“I’m not out at work yet.”

And then there was a sphincter tightening moment, and a brief wave of nausea. She, of course, accepted it without comment or judgement and a few minutes later asked “Poly?”, to which I replied “Kind of, but pan mostly”

It wasn’t a thing, except that it really, really, was a thing.

I’m glad that I did it, I don’t think I overshared because it was in the context of the conversation, but I’m going to need to have a bit of a reflect on how I’m going to manage this stuff going forward.

I’ve got a post sketched out for later on the weird intersection of white cismale privilege and queerness. I’ve got a feeling that there’s a fuck load more intersection than is generally discussed, but in the field I work in, it’s absolutely a vanishingly tiny thing, like homosexuality in professional footballers.

Question for later reflection. Do I have the minerals to be the first to stand at that intersection in my company? To stick a fuck off huge rainbow flag into the ground and say ‘Here I am. This is me. Be the real you.’ I mean, I know I’m capable of it, but am I willing to live with the consequences? What are the consequences?